First Date

10 years ago, Justin picked me up for our first date.  We walked around downtown on New Year's Day.  It wasn't too cold, which is good because I probably would have ruined the date with my complaining.  But I do remember thinking a couple of times when our hands brushed each other, "It wish he would hold my hand." :)  But he didn't.  We just walked around the city together (not holding hands) and talked.  It was really fun and simple.  Then we were hungry and I was pretty excited when he took me to Taco Bell for dinner :)  For real. I loved Taco Bell, and I was glad he didn't take me to some fancy restaurant.  You have to remember I was poor and in college and survived on ramen noodles and the free soup and cornbread from the restaurant I worked at.  So really, anything better than ramen, was a step up for me.  And I mean, who doesn't love a good taco :)

I think at the time, the Taco Bell we went to didn't even accept credit cards (Hello early 2000's), so he may have even swung by the bank to take out some cash.  Even though it wasn't expensive, I was wondering if he was going to pay.  He passed the test and bought our dinner.  I even got a Mt. Dew!

Our first "nice date" was about a month later with some friends of ours.  It was a double date to Carabbas and probably one of the most embarrassing moments of my life.  I was so nervous, because like I mentioned in the last post, being around him made me a hot mess.  So I'm reading the menu out-loud (seriously, why did he like me), and I get to the Filet Mignon.  But I totally mess up pronunciation ("Fil-eet mig-non"). It's one of those slow motion ones, where you can't fix what you said, but you can't stop from totally botching it up either.  I turned bright red and wanted to die.  Thankfully, Justin wanted to continue seeing me :) I'm glad he did.

Today we celebrate our 10 year anniversary of our first date.  Justin is working hard for our family and I'm blessed to be home with our kiddos.  We had an in home date last night. I love that man so much.  I'm thankful some Taco Bell and the hope of hand holding marked the beginning of our lives together.  We still love Taco Bell, and still love it when our fingers are intertwined in each others.  Here's to 10 more years babe!

Bringing Sexy Back

I walked into the bedroom this morning to grab some stuff to get ready for church.  I looked in the bed and there was a big lump completely under the covers and 3 pillows.  My first thought "This is sexy". It wasn't sarcasm, that was legitimately my first thought.  I'll tell you why it was sexy.  He worked 22 of the past 31 hours.  9 of those hours were overtime.  He has chosen to work doubles on Saturdays, (even though that means about 5 hours of sleep on Friday nights, and about 6ish hours of sleep on Saturday night) so he can have an extra day off to spend with us at home.  Inara. Shepherd. Me. He is choosing us over sleep and comfort. He is sacrificing for his family. He is giving, giving, giving...and that my friends is the definition of sexy.

I see people and Christians posting Instagrams with hash tag #mcm or #mancandymonday.  I always think its weird or whatever, but its more than that. It is a lie.  Ryan Gossling's piercing blue eyes aren't created to love you like Christ loved the church.  Channing Tatum's abs aren't made to sacrifice and show you the love of Christ.  Husbands were. Husbands are sexy.  The fact that Justin always seems to change Shep's poopy diapers....that's sexy and that is #mancandymonday.

Justin is far from perfect, but what if we has wives spoke up for them.  What if we posted pictures of our mowed lawn after a long day at work...#mancandymonday?  What if when you saw that hashtag you saw exhausted husbands and dads (albeit imperfectly) loving their families?  What if teen guys, single dudes, and weary husbands saw what a real man should be? What if girls and women around Facebook and Instagram saw what real men look like?  Lies replaced with truth.  Striving replaced with hope. Ladies, you'll probably never marry a Ryan Gossling or Channing Tatum, (even if you do, he'll get old, fat, and hairy..it's true) but you can stop believing and spreading the lie of what a real man is. Dudes, you'll likely never be Ryan or Channing, but there is hope for you in Christ to be manly, strong, and brave!

Like I said, Justin isn't perfect. Neither am I.  But I am so super thankful that because Jesus saved Justin from his own sin and selfishness, the Gospel is preached in our home.  Inara will grow up seeing an example of a real man.  And, Lord willing, she'll let someone like him love and pursue her.  Shepherd will see what kind of man he can be, in Christ. And, Lord willing, he'll not believe the lie of the world says.

*This is not me saying my husband is perfect. He's not. He's a sinner who needs Jesus just like every other husband and person that ever lived. This is me being thankful for how God is changing him to be more like Jesus*

Here are some pics of what a real man looks like, just for reference :)

I normally have to tell him to take a nap,
because he rarely asks for more rest.

Helping Inara learn about how to embrace how God made her to be feminine,
and how to be content with her looks/clothes at the same time

 I know I don't have a lot of  "followers" but lets blow up Facebook and Instagra, this week by posting about a #realman.  It doesn't have to be a husband or a dad either. I know plenty of dudes who work hard, are courageous enough to turn their eyes away from the magazine rack and the grocery, or who choose to love the lost.  Post your photos this week!  Lets show the world a different kind of man. A real man...one broken for the Lord.

I love marriage and husbands

*If you're new here, I'm blogging 31 days of things I learned at the Influence Conference just a few weeks ago. I hope you'll stick around for the rest*

So, you might think "Oh, you mean that you love your marriage and your husband".  No, that's not what I mean.  Well, I mean, yes. I do love Justin and our marriage, but being at the conference I realized how much I just love God's design for marriage.  And how husbands are good.  Most of the core team had their husbands there.  They loved their wives.  They were doing A/V stuff, rocking babies, wearing babies, and even did a man panel for one of the sessions.  Seeing their love for their wives was super awesome.

Marriage is good.  Society doesn't tell us that it is good.  Sometimes its hard and doesn't feel good.  But God says its good.  It is to represent him and his love for his people.  Our earthly marriages screw that up sometimes, but that doesn't mean it wasn't created to be good.  Good for us and good for others.

I love husbands.  I love how God created men to love their wives sacrificially and passionately.  I love how they are created to be the head of the family.  It is good for wives to submit to their husbands. (More on this later).

I left excited to come back and do life along side my husband. To be in a marriage.  Yeah, it is messy and we both have junk to deal with.  But it is good.  It's not good because we are good. It's good because God is good. And he gave marriage to us as a gift.  And husbands as a gift.

And even as I write this I think "Oh, I don't know. What about people who want to be married and aren't?  Or my friends with an unsaved spouse? Is this post insensitive to them?".  I'm trying not to be.  Because I am not saying MY marriage is good and perfect, but rather God's design for marriage is good...and I like God's design.  And I think that is ok for me to say, "I like God's design for marriage".

If you are single, you have a bridegroom who treasures you.  He'll NEVER hurt you, NEVER leave you, NEVER forsake you.  But I know being single is hard.  I'm praying (for real) for you sweet friends, that God would bless you with a Godly spouse. And in the meantime give you more and more grace and mercy and a deeper passion for Him.

If you have an unbelieving spouse, I'm praying for you too.  Praying you will be a light in a dark place.  Praying for God to show you his goodness, and for you to fall deeper and deeper in love with your spouse. Praying for God to bring your spouse to repentance.

Marriage.Is.Good.

The one where we didn't fight

So if you have been around us, you probably know that our house is like The Money Pit.  Seriously...everything we around our house cannot be done simply. It takes 10 extra steps to correct the crazy stuff the previous homeowners did.  So anyway, when we first bought our house we had only been married a year. And guys, we could not do one single thing together without bickering.  We just worked sooo differently.  We would always end up frustrated at the house and then at each other.

But today, seven years into our marriage, we did something...together...happily!  And it didn't take a billion extra steps either!  I know this might not be a big deal, but is so is to us! Justin even told me I needed to blog about it because this is important :)  Yes, it took us seven years to learn how to work together effectively on our house, but guys... we did it today! :)  We won! It's all very exciting around here  :)

So the project started when someone offered a free chandelier.  The one on our dining room is AWFUL.  I do no exaggerate.  It was gold...gold, and had plastic and glass crystals hanging from it.  But the plastic ones were so discolored from the previous owners smoking that I just tossed them.  So then our chandelier was just half done....for 6 years!  So we took it down, only to realize we actually liked the dining room without something hanging down. So we went to Home Depot and bought a new light fixture that is semi-flush. I can't believe we waited this long to fix it!

Not a great picture, but this is the finished product!
We love it!

Is there an area where its hard for you to work together with your spouse? How did you overcome this?

Chicago getaway

In 2007, when Justin Timberlake went on tour Justin and I thought about going to see him.  We eventually decided against it....and then we were so sad we didn't make it! We promised we would never miss this opportunity again. So when we heard he was going on tour again, we didn't waste anytime and got tickets ASAP.  The closest he was coming was Chicago.  So we decided to take a trip with some friends. We were there for a few days and had a blast in Chicago. I really can't wait to go back.  Oh yeah, this was our anniversary trip too :)

Late night train ride

We scored some free Jones soda! It was wonderful
to wash down our leftover pizza

Yummy Portillo's

Yay!

Happy Anniversary babe!

Tiny hands

It's cool we were interviewed by the local news...NBD

Navy Pier

The.best.pizza.ever

Yes, I wore my Reds shirt on a tour of Wrigley Field

Locker Room

Justin in the Press Box

We started the night pretty high up

But maneuvered down pretty close

It was so awesome.

Bike ride along the beach

Justin photobombing my selfie

I'm totally bringing my bathing suit next time!

I was SO hot on our bike ride and jumped in the lake.

They found video games

The Bean

Random street performers

Beautiful river

Chicago, I can't wait to see you again soon!

I finally did it!

Justin and I have been together for nearly 10 years. Over those years he has surprised me countless times.  I always try to get hints out of him, or ask beg him to just spill the beans early.  I have even given him permission to lie to me about what he is doing. But my sweet man doesn't want to lie to me, even if it is a little white lie :)  But this year, he broke! I knew he was planning something because he was all secretive with his phone and text messages. And he told me his surprise!   My birthday is this week, but last week he planned a surprise date night :)

His days off are Tuesday night and Wednesday night, which make it kind of difficult for a date night, but an old co-worker had volunteered to come by our house.  She agreed to hang there while our kiddos sleep and stay until after midnight so we could enjoy some time together. Sweet huh?  Well my Mom actually decided to take off work so both kids could stay with them.  A whole evening with NO kids in the house and NO middle of the night feedings? That would have been a perfectly fine gift!  Even though my birthday is this week he wanted me to really be able to enjoy my self. I started back to work this week and he didn't want me to be stressed about that so we celebrated  week early.

We started off the evening seeing Jurassic Park in 3D. It was really good in 3D and its crazy how old it is, but how good it looks. (The theme song was in my head all night long)  Then we headed to Horseshoe Casino to eat at Bobby's Burger Palace.  We had wanted to try out this burger place since we heard about it coming to the area.  Justin really liked his burger.  And while my burger was definitely not a mass produced fast food burger, it had some interesting spices that I wasn't a huge fan of.  The onion rings though...YUM YUM!

After our late dinner we headed out into the casino for a little slot action. We have only been to a casino one other time so it took us about 15-20 minutes to figure out how to actually use the slot machines.  We decided we would only spend $30 and when it was gone...it's gone.  But they have this promotion going on for first timers.  And basically if you end up loosing money on your first visit they will mail you a refund as long as you spend $50.  Also, note to first timers:  I had heard that if you are gambling drinks are free, so I ordered one.  Well they are not free, so be warned.  And the poor cocktail waitresses!  I gave her a tip and she was super thankful.  They must be used to no tips or something!

We played a few of slots and started losing our money pretty quickly.  Here's the thing about slot machines...almost all of them are boring!  We finally found this Aladdin one that was super fun! The seat vibrated and moved around to simulate you riding on a magic carpet.  And instead of just pushing a button and betting, this slot machine was interactive.  And we won a little over $250 dollars :)

We decided to play some other slots that seemed fun...Ghostbusters, Wheel-of-fortune, and some zombie one. But they were boring too.  So we headed back to Aladdin where we spent the rest of the night and kept loosing.  So we decided to call it quits.  I was asking Justin what we should spend our money on and he handed me the money and said "Happy Birthday". How fun huh?  I think I'll put it away and save it for our Disney trip...ever little bit helps!

We came home, watched a little Modern Family (Phil Dunphy...enough said), and then I was informed that I could sleep in the next morning. He was going to wake up early and go get the kids so I could enjoy the morning in bed.  A man after my heart!  It was a really fun night spending time together and I am so thankful to spend the rest of my life alongside my very best friend!  Happy Birthday to me!

Drink, Dance, Dream

So y'all know that I have the best husband right?  Well this week he surprised me with an in home date night (getting out with a little nursling and a toddler is kind of difficult these days).  Monday he sent me this invitation in my email:

How fun is that?!

Drink: He went to the store and bought ingredients to make my favorite cocktail...complete with garnish and little straws :)  Amaretto Sour...yum!

Dance: He had some jazz playing in the back ground as we talked and played some games (checkers, chinese checkers, and crazy 8's).  We would take periodic breaks to do a little slow dancing in the dark.  It was sweet and romantic :)

Dream:  Originally when I saw this I thought it meant I was going to take a nap during the day and sleep all night while he did Shepherd's nighttime feedings....but what he planned was way better.  We "dreamed" of a family Disney trip!  We planned how long we want to stay, where we would stay, extra things we would want to do.  We added up how much it would cost and then planned how long it would take to save up the money.  I am really excited! We are hoping to go in about 3 years when Inara is 6 and Shep is 3, stay for a week in a resort at Disney, and get a dining plan.  I seriously can't wait.  Oh and while I was looking up stuff online...Justin was giving me a foot massage :) Did I hit the jackpot or what?

It was a super fun little date night :) And then I got to sleep in the next morning. SCORE!

My Valentine

Justin is a great husband and loves me so wonderfully everyday of the year. I thought I would post all the awesome ways Justin loves me all year round.  This Valentine's is a little different...we are both exhausted with a newborn and a toddler who is now waking up at night too and Justin has been sick. But I honestly didn't even think about today being Valentine's Day because he is wonderful all the time.

• Our 5 year anniversary and how he "Makes it Real For Me" and how he is a great overseer of our home
• Being super thankful for our marriage during National Marriage Week
• Our Love Story written by God
• Amazing and practical way he loved me during my exhausted pregnant state
• How he is just the best :)

I head this song today on the radio and it seemed really fitting. I am so thankful God has given me Justin as my man!

My other 2 Valentines :) Love all 3 of them so much!

Love pays the bills...

A long time ago I was listening to Mark Driscoll sermons a lot. I was listening to one on love or marriage, or something like that, when he said something really simple and profound that I have carried with me through the years "Love pays the bills".  His point in the sermon is that love is not always a lovey romantic feeling, but an action. Love goes to work to pay the bills...love DOES things.  And let me tell you folks...this week Justin Duke has been paying the bills!

I have felt absolutely downright miserable at times this week.  I was so sick one day I was literally in tears as he came home from work.  He sent me to bed early and took SUCH wonderful care of me.  The bed was ready with all of my pillows I need to be comfortable, he was going to sleep on the couch so I could have the bed all by my self, he had a drink in the room waiting for me, I was so sick I couldn't even take my hair down-so he took out all my bobby pins, gave me a scalp massage and back massage, and then continued to bring things into that I needed throughout the evening.  Then while I was resting and Inara was in bed he cleaned  and did laundry, so if I were to go into labor we wouldn't be coming home to a wrecked house...and then was all after working all day long.  He.paid.the.bills.

I felt more loved and cared for recently than any jewelry, flowers, or gifts could ever make me feel.  He loved me perfectly and sacrificially expecting nothing in return.  His love for me that night and past couple weeks have showed me the "never stopping, never giving up, unbreaking, always and forever love" of Christ.  Thank you Jesus for such an amazing husband!