Job Loss

I haven't blogged in forever. Close to 6 months.  Turns out homeschooling and working and mothering takes up a lot of time. At the end of the day, I don't really want to do anything else except sit and relax. But God has been just extraordinarily kind and gentle to me since Justin lost his job. I find my self wanting to post a little excerpt on Instagram, but find myself being like John when he said "Now there are also many other things that Jesus did. Were every one of them to be written, I suppose that the world itself could not contain the books that would be written". And that's how it is. God is being abundantly kind to me and a short blurb just can't contain all the little ways God is actively loving me and whispering "Trust me. I care about you. I have this".

When Justin found out he got laid off, I was overcome with a peace that really does only come from God. When faced with the reality of losing all of your financial security, including your dream house you JUST bought, it does not come from anywhere within to instantly be calm and at peace. I knew God had a plan. I knew he loved us. And should we lose our home and all that goes with it, I knew God still had a good plan and I knew He still loved us.

Romans 8:32 says "He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all-how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?" I knew, that God didn't send Jesus to die a brutal death on the cross, to bring me to Him, and then just ignore us. If God would allow such calamity, I knew it would be for our good, even if we didn't understand how or why. The fact that God would GIVE me that trust instantly, was so precious.

The next day was a little rougher, but I continued to focus on what was true and not all the "What ifs". Since then it has been one continuous story God is writing for our family. How he is going before us and how he is right here with us in the thick of it. Justin's old colleagues have just been, bizarre. Bizarre in the most wonderful way. He has had them coming out of the wood work to write good recommendations for him on LinkedIn. Obviously I know Justin is wonderful and hard working. But to see so many other people recognize that in him, has been awesome to see. People have gone way out of their way to help him. People love Justin. And I know why. Because he loves Jesus. Yes he is a hard worker and did great at his job. But its because he wanted to work hard for the Lord and honor Him. And when his colleagues worked alongside of Justin, I know they were blessed because of Justin's love for the Lord.

Here are some of the very real and tangible things God has done for me to show me that he cares for me. After my miscarriage I saw the same side of God. Tender, sweet, and loving. It's that same side of God I am seeing now. Yes, he is big, holy, and in control of all things. But he is also near to the brokenhearted and he knows each tear that falls. He cares for me (and for you). So anyway here are some of those ways, God has been near to me.

-That week a sweet friend texted me and asked how she could tangibly help our family. At that moment there was nothing we needed, but I knew she was a pray-er. So I asked if she could pray. This friend has a lot going on, but set an alarm to pray for us everyday at noon. And I know she is. I can tell. In fact, I can tell that so many others are doing the same thing. That's the only way I am not curled under my blankets and depressed. So thank you to those who are putting us before the Father and asking for us.

-Some of you may know that I like using essential oils. I have been ordering monthly from Young Living and get a little bit of a kickback when I order for other people. I have never seen myself as "selling" them, but I really do just like using them and am excited to share about them to see if they can help others. I don't NEED to use them, but I really like to. As soon as Justin lost his job, I thought "oh yeah, I should probably stop my monthly order, since we should save that money for other things." Totally not a big deal. But this month has been my most successful oily month. I will MAKE money this month. Enough to cover about 2 months worth of orders. WHAT? When all these people wanted to order stuff, I was just so surprised. Each order was God whispering "I love you. I will take care of you. Here is a gift." I know it may not seem like a big deal and I think that's the point. Oils AREN'T a big deal. I do really like them, but they aren't a priority! And if God was going to be extravagant with tiny things, I know I can trust him with the biggest things.

-We still have our old house for sale. We had a lot of showings all at once and then they sort of tapered off. One day I thought "I wonder if I should contact our realtor and discuss what we need to do to get it sold." But then it was just like "No, be patient. Its ok. It's only been on the market for 2 weeks. Don't be pushy." Moments later, my phone buzzed and it was a notification that we had a showing scheduled for the next day. Once again, God showing me He is in control and I can trust him.

-My job typically doesn't have any opportunity to pick up extra. The first day I went back to work after Justin lost his job, my director sent out an email asking if anyone wanted to increase their hours. Justin and I didn't want to permanently increase them. If he got a job soon, then we would prefer that I continue to work part-time. Long story short, I'm working extra but not permanently. Exactly what we wanted, God made a way for that right now.

-The other day I was at the gift shop at work and they had some Wood Wick candles on sale. I really wanted to buy one. I love the crackling sound, so relaxing to me! But I knew spending extra money, wasn't a great idea. So I passed. Once again, not a huge deal. Then just this week, our new housemate bought us a thank you gift for opening up our home....a Wood Wick Candle. Guys. I can't make this crap up.

-Each year I throw a "Treat Yo Self" party for my friends. Just a little ladies night that has some special things. Manicures, good food and drinks. This year I wanted to send my friends home with something fun. I thought if I could find some small glass jars for cheap enough, I could send them home with some essential oil infused bath salts (my new fave!). I figured its worth looking around. This week I stopped by Hobby Lobby and all their glass jars were 50% off. I heard two ladies who were stocking up saying "These are rarely on sale!". But of course they are. So I got a bunch of little jars to bless my friends with. God is even helping me bless others. It's crazy, people.

It's so small, but tangible, and so personal. Why God? Why do you care about me this way? It's really just overwhelming, that God, who is in control over all things. He knows my name. He knows the depth of my nasty heart yet, sent his Son to die for me and make a way for us to be together. Jesus is waiting in Heaven to welcome me home when the time comes. God gives me the Holy Spirit to encourage, convict, and lead me. He could just stop right there and it would be the most amazing gifts one could give. But He doesn't....he keeps giving. He keeps loving. Keeps being tender and gentle and kind. "I'm here. I'm with you. I'm for you. I love you." It's really just too much. I'm often overcome and weepy when I think of how over the top God is right now.