Friday, December 14, 2012

Lies about marriage

The other day I was on Buzzfeed (which by the way is an awesome and hilarious website) and came across this article titled "8 Completely Different Opinions On When Women Should Get Married".  I thought it could be interesting and since I am a) married and b) a woman.

Interesting...well it was thought provoking I guess.  Here are some of the highlights

25- That is the first age listed. According to no one ( study or survey was noted) "the more years of higher education a woman has under her belt on her wedding day, the lower the chances that she’ll get divorced…and by 25, you’re more likely to have earned a degree or two."  So basically a pointless suggestion.

40- "wait at least till the age of 40. No sense in wasting your youth on one man".  So sad :(  I have not felt at one point I was "wasting my youth" with Justin.  It was really a bummer to think that is what people think of marriage...essentially a waste.

30- "as a general rule, women should start having children no later than age 30 and be done by 35. Of course women don't have to be married to have children". Once again sad, sad, sad :(  I get (kind of) the having children part, but not waiting until you get married? Its just a bummer that marriage has such a bad wrap when it is so wonderful.

21- "women's 'market value' declines steadily as they age." Awesome, I'll be sure to tell my daughter to marry young or no one will want to marry her at all? I mean seriously people...

28- "for a healthy marriage, experts think people should be married two or three years before they consider having children."  Sounds nice enough...I guess. Justin and I waited 3 years, we have friends who were pregnant on their honeymoon, and still others who have been married 5+ years and don't have kiddos yet.  Bottom line, every marriage is different.

NEVER- "smarter women know that marriage often leads to traditional gender roles wherein women are the housekeepers, mothers, and caretakers; so smart women know that if they go this route, then they likely won’t be able to pursue their ambitions"...possibly the saddest answer of all. To never get married is to never experience the most intimate of relationships. Also the idea that "smart women" avoid or should avoid marriage and "traditional gender roles" is ridiculous and sad.  I am a smart woman. I have a bachelors degree. I am a registered nurse where I have to think critically, quickly, and assess entire body systems...I am no dummy. So its pretty ridiculous to think only "dumb women" take on traditional gender roles or desire them. It's also equally as frustrating to think that choosing "traditional gender roles" is seen as a lesser decision and only for dumb women.  Being a worker in the home I am a teacher.  Not only teaching her shapes, colors, letters, numbers, etc. but also teaching her the importance of being kind, sharing, not thinking of her self, etc. I know women who are accountants of their home. They know exactly how much income is coming in and how much is going out. They participate fully in designing budgets for the home. I know women who are essentially dieticians/nutritionists in their home due to allergies.  Outstanding smart Mom's who advocate for their children balancing multiple disciplines (OT,PT,ST).  I am blessed to know other Mom's who left their careers as a Pharmacist, Teacher, Social Worker, Registered Nurse, and graphic designer who are teaching their children how to be responsible adults, serve others, and love the LORD....all of these things are not for the weak, dumb, or people who want an "easy" job.  Being a worker in the home is a job with no vacation days, sick days, lunch breaks, or personal days. You can't clock in and clock out, always on the job...but it is truly the best job I have ever had.  Justin would agree it is good for me to be at home.

*Taking a breath, and stepping off soap box*

I really hope I can encourage Inara to not believe any of the lies listed above or the other junk the world sells as better/best.  It's a bummer that some grown women actually believe these lies and miss out on so much. There is no "perfect" age to get married, just the perfect way to be married...trusting in Christ.


  1. Amen to teaching Inara to know better. I just couldn't believe what they were suggesting with these! I agree with you all the way.


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