Monday, November 19, 2012

30 Days of Thankfulness: Day 19

I had been planning on writing about being thankful for Inara today since today is her actual birthday. But honestly, its really hard being her Mom today. I know everyone has those parenting moments.  I just am really having a hard time disciplining her in a meaningful way. It seems like nothing I have done today has really done the trick to get her attention. Either she doesn't care or it doesn't make a lasting impression on her.  Since my blog will be here forever I'll spare you the details of her disrespectful behavior and just leave it at this: it has been rough.  I am thankful Justin is coming home a little early today so I don't have to deal with her my self. And even as I type this, I am sad. I am sad her little heart is so hardened to sin. I am sad she chooses to make unwise choices over and over no matter how I respond (with grace, firmly, disciplining, ignoring etc) I guess it makes me sad for when she is older too. I know I can't MAKE my child choice to make wise choices and that is a total bummer.

So even though it has been a rough day, I have to make wise choices myself. And that means being thankful. Thankful that 3 years ago today I survived. Thankful that Inara not only just made it, but really is thriving. Thankful that God has used her birth in so many ways to bring himself glory. Thankful that my husband was so wonderfully terrific during a really hard time.  Thankful to really see what the body of Christ looks like. I'll be thankful that God teaches me so much about his great love through Inara. Thankful God is the perfect parent. Thankful God has helped me have self-control and wisdom so far today.

Sorry for the Debbie Downer post, but today I have to fight to be thankful.  It isn't a feeling a choice I have to make today. I pray it will help me really embrace this opportunity to love Inara the best way.

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