Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Real talks

This morning in my Google Reader this post caught my attention.  I really like When You Rise. They don't bombard you with 1 million posts a day and it seems like the ladies who run the site are REAL people.  So reading this short little post on the importance of the Gospel...really stood out to me. 

For a long time I have been waiting for Inara to be old enough to be able to talk more deeply about her sin and Christ.  Most of our training and disciplining with her has been more focused on the obeying and doing the task at hand...and less on the reasoning.  It was good for her age.  I could see when I tried to explain things to her, her eyes just kind of glazed over.  So we kept it at "Say 'Yes Mom' ", and "Inara you need to make a wise choice and obey"...stuff like that.  But I think I just kind of forgot that she is growing up :)  And she is definitely ready for some deeper explanations/talks.  And today in the car we had wasn't forced, but just being able to recognize that I can talk to her more was a good eye opener.

Recently Inara has been very "me focused". I know that she is in the developmental stage when she thinks the world revolves around her.  But that doesn't necessarily means its ok.  For example she has told me that SHE knows everything, SHE chooses if we have a baby brother or a baby sister, and today she topped them all by saying its all about HER.  We were listening to "Not to Us" by Chris Tomlin. She was asking "Momma, why is it all for you?" Then I tried to explain how Chris was singing about how everything we do is all for God...its all about Him and not us.  Her response "Nope Momma. It's all for me"...parenting fail!

I was thinking about how kids are naturally self centered and how we need to teach them NOT to be. Luckily I have been listening to Bossypants and was reminded of one of her MANY awesome quotes:

When I was a kid there was a TV interstitial during Saturday morning cartoons with a song that went like this "The most important person in the whole wide world is you, and you hardly even know you. You're the most important person!" Is this not the absolute worst thing you could instill in a child? They're the most important person? In the world? That's what they already think. You need to teach them the opposite. They need to be a little afraid of what will happen if they lose the top of their Grizzly Adams thermos

*Side note: After finishing my to your store/computer and buy that book!*

So anyway back to the car.  I told Inara that when she says "it's all for me" that is being selfish and prideful.  I explained how that is sin.  The bad news is when we have sin in our hearts, they are grumpy and yucky (I didn't know how else to explain it...suggestions welcome) and we can't be with God.  *Inara glaring at me*  Wanna know the good news? The good news is that Jesus died to take the sin out of our heart. He forgives us and then we can be with God.  I asked her a question: "Inara, do you want to have a happy day and try to love God? Or do you want to have a grumpy yucky day and love your self?"  Obviously it was no surprise she said she wanted to love her self.  And ya know what, it was ok. She was real and honest...and most importantly I can't make Inara love/obey God.   So I calmly said "Ok Inara. You can choose to love only yourself today and have a yucky grumpy day and a sinful heart" and then very sweetly she said "I don't want to Momma". *sigh* "Ok Inara, do you want to have a happy day?" "Yes, mom". "Ok".  

I then talked about how we LOVE to buy her gifts because it is better to give than receive.  And we have LOTS of fun picking out stuff for her.  So I suggested we do something nice for someone else.  I let her pick who she wanted to love and serve and what she wanted to do.  So today after naptime, we will be making a card for a friend and going to the store to buy them a little gift. I already told her...the gifts are NOT for her. Its for her friend. She still seemed excited.

I think everyday we are going to try to do something nice/serve someone.  It won't always be a big gesture, but hopefully it will start to get her in the mindset that life is not about her.  What suggestions do you guys have for us to do. Stuff that is age appropriate for an almost 3 year old (Yikes, I have an "almost 3 year old" did that happen?)

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