Postpartum Depression
I have heard of PPD, but kind of just shrugged it off as an excuse for the crazy mom who drown her 4 kids. But WOW! No I am not crazy and psychotic, and those reading this need not fear for Inara's life. All I am saying is my hormones are CRAZY theses days.
Yesterday, I had a COMPLETE meltdown regarding stuff from my previous post. I went to a seminar at my church titled "The God Empowered Wife". Funny as it is....I didn't learn much about being a wife, but God did show me how I was making and false idol in my life. I was putting my experience (and fear of the future) ahead of my loving God. I felt like I was in a pit of despair and couldn't get out! I WANTED to give all my troubles to the LORD, but I couldn't even give my troubles a name. Yes I was sad about not having a normal pregnancy and stuff, but what was the root of that? Why was I idolizing pregnancy instead of worshiping my Savior? I seriously thought "wow, I am a hot mess. I think I am seriously going to need some biblical counseling from my church to help me deal".
Today I wake up and I am a new woman. Yes I am sad about my experience, but NOT devastated. I can see that truth in God's word about what happened, and I can see the err of my thinking too. God has shown me how easy it is to make pregnancy and idol, but he has also shown me it's not worth it. I am not saying I am all fixed and now I have it together now. Who knows I may need to get counseling from my church in the future. I just think it is SO crazy how much my hormones affected me. I hope when they come raging again, I will be prepared to tell my self the Truth.
What about you other moms out there? Any PPD? What scripture did you use to help in your time of need?
Isaiah 43:1-3, Joshua 1:9
ReplyDeleteI think I might get to leave a comment! Each time I've tried, doesn't work (word verification usu has a blank box). Anyhow, thanks for sharing & I hope these are encouraging to you!
Oh yeah-it was me w/ the comment...lol.
ReplyDeleteSonya
Hi Lauren - we both go to Grace. I've seen you work the nursery desk as I've dropped off my Clay many times. I had to comment on your post bc I understand so much of what you are talking about. My pregnancy was fine, but my delivery was very traumatic and now I have to have c-sections from now on. My littel guy was hospitalized at 3 weeks and then we found he had severe reflux that lasted his entire first year. There was NO sleeping for the entire 1st year. I'm not kidding. We were zombies in teh worst way possible. And I couldn't breast feed either. At all - not even pumping. This also was a traumatic thing for me. God is so good that he preserved my heart for Him though during this time. I suffered from depression, which probably at least partly bc of sleep deprivation. Sometime around the first year God started showing me my sin - my sin of idols and how I felt that my idea of the ideal birth/baby was 'stolen' from me. So wrong, I know. I had to learn how to embrace the life He'd given me and it was a process for sure...even if it didn't seem "good". The verse that comforted me was 2 Cor 4:17 - For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. God is so good!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks Sonya, Those verses are amazing. And I have often used them to comfort others. Now I need those truths to be firmly planted in my heart :)
ReplyDeleteKim, that is a great verse for me right now. Compared to our future hope, this is definitely "light and momentary". (ps, I do remember your little man, he was so tiny and so cute :)