Sunday, May 12, 2013

I had the best day

Today was simple, but I had a really great day on my first Mother's Day to 2 kids. Can I share it with you? Ok, thanks!

It started out wonderful and I got to sleep until 7:30!  I climbed into Inara's bed with her for a few morning snuggles.  We then played with her dollhouse for a while.  This is a new stage for her actually letting me play with her instead of just watching her.  Its fun to see the world through her eyes as she pretends with her dollhouse family.

After about 20 minutes Shepherd woke up.  Let me tell you something.  This little boy has stolen my heart like no one else.  He is just the sweetest thing. So I walk into his room and staring up at me is the sweetest face I've ever seen.  He instantly smiles the biggest smile I have ever seen a baby smile. I scoop him up and shower him with kisses. Side note- I am not sure how I will handle him being too old for me to kiss his chubby neck and cheeks. Justin wakes up we spend semi-uninterrupted time together on the couch. Ps, I really miss him these days.  We get ready for church and we are out the door.

Today was the baby dedication at church.  Our names are called.  We are encouraged by our pastor and I get teary eyed thinking about the 2 tiny blessings in my life. I succeed in not having a complete sob fest in front of the whole church (Thanks Jesus!).  More celebration of new life as we watch 5 or 6 people I don't know get baptized. The great thing doesn't matter that I don't know them.  Seeing people being made new is a beautiful gift and for the second time today, I fight back a complete breakdown.

The rest of the day is spend with Justin, the kids, my parents and we got to facetime with Justin's parents too.  Nothing spectacular, more pretending, more cuddling, LOTS of smiles from my youngest baby, some fun (and not so fun) teaching moments with my oldest baby, and the day ended with bedtime talk about God, Jesus, and the Holy yeah...trying to explain the Triune God to a 3.5 year old is a bit tricky. But I am so thankful for her inquisitive spirit and even though sometimes it drives me crazy, its a huge blessing and such a joy for her to ask "why" about Jesus and his creation.  I get up to leave her room and Inara says "Momma! I need another hug!"  Typically Inara uses bedtime stalling techniques, but I can tell she genuinely just wants another hug.  I give her a huge squeeze, kiss her snotty face, another squeeze and tell her "Buenos Noches".

As I am nursing Shepherd and I see his bright blue eyes staring back at me, a huge smile, and then some droopy eyelids...I think "I had the best day".  Which then made me think of "The Best Day" by Taylor Swift. I am totally not ashamed to say that I really love her.  Anyway, so I listen to the song...and finally sob.  I finally get it.  I get how much my Mom and Dad loves me because that's how much I love Inara and Shepherd.  I sob because I don't think I really ever knew they loved me that much.  I cry even more because I think how incredibly heartbreaking it must have been to parent at times.  I cry out to God and beg him to not let Inara or Shepherd treat me the way I treated my parents. I wipe my nose as I realize these days I have with Inara and Shepherd are so fleeting. It's so cliche, but it really does seem like just yesterday Inara was signing her first words. I blink and almost 4 months have gone by and my last baby is already so big.  Today has been the best Mother's Day yet. Granted I have only had 3, but has been the best day.

If you are a glutton for punishment, then you should definitely listen to this T. Swift song.  You'll probably want some tissues and to be in a room alone so you can ugly cry.

*Ps, once again I have zero pics of me WITH my fail*

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