Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Don't care how, I want it NOW!

My hormone swings are so ridiculous lately. The good thing is that because my moods change so drastically, its pretty obvious to notice.  Today is one of those days...I feel like Veruca Salt (not a great person to feel like)

I want the world
I want the whole world
I want to lock it all up in my pocket
It's my bar of chocolate
Give it to me
Don't care how
I want it now!

Inara has seriously been really wonderful with Shepherd and being a good helper. But...she is 3.  Today I have wanted her to do exactly what I ask of her, the first time, all the way. But not because I want her to learn obedience, but because its easy for me when she obeys. My house looks like a bomb exploded...seriously. Just ONCE I want her to pick up what I ask her to pick up and put it EXACTLY where I want her to put it...and I want her to do it right away...with a smile and a "Yes, Mom" would be nice too! I would post pictures of the floor covered in tiny pieces of play-doh, dishes piling up in the sink, dirty burp cloths everywhere...but I'll just let you picture it mentally :)  It has never bothered me for my house to be dirty. I always like this little saying:

Source: letteredandlined
But this new level of filth is getting to me. I want to walk into the kitchen and not trip dress up jewelry and tiny baby dolls...and I want it NOW.  This demanding and lovely (sarcasm) spirit I have had today has obviously led to some stellar parenting.  I know that were my house to be pristine I would miss the mess of dress up clothes and princesses everywhere.  The thing is, my frustration says NOTHING about Inara, but everything about my heart and how desperate it is for a Savior...As I typed that I thought I heard Inara yelling from bed.  I immediately got mad at her in my heart...I mean what part of "No yelling from bed" does she not understand?  Does she not know I am trying to blog here! (Seriously...I am on a roll today). I turned up monitor I heard her sweet little voice singing the following:

"Jesus Messiah, name above all names. Blessed Redeemer, Emmanuel."

Oh yes! God with us! The hope of glory.  I am so thankful for a God who can redeem this day and use it for him.  My house is still a mess and so am I. A mess that needs the Lord.

This parenting 2 kiddos is a hard thing sometimes. But what a wonderful way for God to show me my great need for him.


  1. Oh, that made me cry. Sometimes I miss those days. Parenting teens is hard. Just in a different way. Right there with ya Sister - I need God all the time!!! :)

    1. Oh I can't even imagine how hard teenagers are!

  2. You've got to keep it real. I can totally understand how you are feeling. I've been thinking about you and you are in my prayers. A late congratulations on your precious new baby!

    1. Thanks so much for your prayers. I've been keeping up with your blog and how SJ is doing. But I always read on my phone through google reader so I can't comment. I am glad her surgery went well!


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