Parenting is hard sometimes...

I know it is worth the work, but it has been a battle this week. And mostly not even with Inara. She is just being a normal 2 year old. But for me, it is a battle of wills.

Lately I have been working/sleeping a lot more than normal since I have been training for my new job. But PTL I am done with orientation, I have 5 days in a row off, and then start working part-time again!  But today has been my first "normal" day home with Inara in weeks.  I had to go to the doctor, get gas, and pick up a prescription.  She really really good at the doctor's office then got progressively impatient, disobedient, and unhappy.  While I was waiting for my medicine at CVS, I SOOO wanted to just buy her a little toy to shut her up. She REALLY wanted a sucker, but I didn't have one and neither did CVS.  She was unhappy sitting in my lap, unhappy sitting in a chair, unhappy unless she was running around wild or begging for some candy (thank you CVS for putting ALL candy at eye/grabbing level of my 2 year old).  So for MY sanity, I just wanted to buy her something so she could be happy...and honestly leave me alone. But I knew that was not really loving her, it was loving me and not pleasing to God. So I sat there and tried, tried, TRIED to be loving, kind, and patient towards her.  Then on the car ride home she said she was mad at me for "making her sad" and then said "I want my Daddy" :(

Then we got home and her first words were "I wanna watch a show". We normally don't let her watch TV all day long, but the past few months we have let her watch a lot more.  I knew I would be in for a fight.  She begged and cried, and once again I wanted to give into her so she would be happy.  And a happier kiddo is much easier than an unhappy kiddo...but its not better all the time.  And so, she started to argue with me so she could watch a show.  Finally (thanks God), we moved on from TV and actually had a good time together. We "cooked" in her kitchen, played a game of memory, dressed up, painted nail, and had a picnic before lunch.  I was so thankful for that little time with her.  Had I given into her demands and what she wanted and just watched a movie until nap time, I would have missed out on being able to talk to Inara about what real beauty was while we were painting her nails. I would have missed sitting in the warm sun, listening to the bird chirp, while Inara sat on my lap and we ate together. But most importantly I would have missed an opportunity to REALLY be her parent. Not just a supervisor, but an example of Christ.  Today I am thankful God doesn't give me everything I want. I think I saw just how wonderful of a Father God is to me.  It is humbling. It is good.