Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Don't Make Me Count to Three!

Don't Make Me Count to Three

So about a month ago I checked out "Don't Make Me Count to Three!" by Ginger Plowman. It was recommended by multiple mommies as a good book on discipline. I have to agree! It started off a little slow, but I think because I have read multiple discipline books and was looking for the practical. She spends a few chapters talking about the "why" of discipline before she gets to the "how".

I was really thankful for the MANY examples she provides and many mistakes you can make too. I LOVED how she talked about the difference between spanking and disciplining because there is a big difference! Spanking is not getting to the heart of why they sinned or disobeyed. But taking the time to talk about how they have sinned and how they can make it right is SO much better. (Think put off, put on).

She also helped point out that Inara is already quite a manipulator. She uses tears and hugs to try to get her way. Before I read the chapter on manipulation I just thought Inara was sensitive. And while that may be true, it is still manipulation when she tries to use her emotions to get her way.  I am so thankful I could SEE this the day I read this chapter. It has already helped me love her better.

In one the chapters on verbal correction she gives a tip that has been very helpful to me "Choose the right words". She talks about how saying "You are being disrespectful" is better than "you are acting ugly". I have often thought about this with how Inara acts. When she takes a toy away from a friend saying "Hey, that's not very nice" isn't really helpful. But using God's words are powerful. When I say "Inara that is unkind and unloving for you to take that toy away" based on 1 Corinthians 13 I can help her see that she is being selfish which is not loving at all. Then I can show her she needs His help to be loving.

It has been amazing the change I have seen since being intentional with discipline...the change in me! Before seeking to discipline Inara in a way that pleases God and points him to her, I found my self frustrated and annoyed. Why wouldn't she just listen to me? I would say her name multiple times to get her attention...and even yell her name out of frustration. Now that I see she isn't just "not listening to me"  but rather she is choosing to disobey me and disobey God, I have found such freedom in her discipline. She is making the choice to disobey and I am making the choice to obey God and love Inara enough to not allow her to act foolishly. *sigh* cue huge weight being lifted off my shoulders

I do encourage any parent to read this book. Next on my reading list is "Gospel Powered Parenting" by William P. Farley...can't wait!

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