Friday, May 7, 2010

Oh I love/hate thee

So since Inara has been born, I have not be able to nurse her. Kind of sad, but luckily I can pump and still give her the good stuff that is best for her and for me. My goal was to pump until she was 6 months, and that time is approaching. Sometimes I feel like I can totally keep going, but then other times I just want to stop.

My pump is like another appendage. I love it: because it allows me to give her the best. I hate it: because it is so monotonous and WAY more work than just nursing her. But alas...I continue. I hope I can go longer than 6 months. Today I dropped a whole bottle of milk on the floor, and almost started crying. I work REALLY hard for that milk and it was so sad to see something so valuable to me all over the floor :( Then I came to my senses and is JUST milk. It isn't Gold, Silver, money, or Christ. I know it is important to me, but maybe I just need to chilax with my consuming thoughts of milk/pumping. Its really hard though sometimes. Because I have to plan my day around not only her feeding schedule, but also my pumping schedule. I know I need to be concerned with pumping, but I also need to relax too.

I know I am just rambling on about nothing. I assume no dudes read my blog...if so...sorry about this one. Any other exclusive pumpers out there? How long did you go? Am I the only crazy woman out there that cries over spilled milk :)


  1. I had to pump with Morgan because after 8 weeks I went back to work. I continued to pump while working full time and it was a huge pain. I would totally forget - then about 2pm in a meeting be in SO much pain I couldn't think. Would pray for the end of the meeting so I could go pump! I finally had to quit. with Braden I didn't work but then he was a different baby and nursing was exhausting with him - so I only made it 6 weeks.
    It's a gift if you can do it, but don't let it consume your life. Babies do fine with food/formula. :)
    You are an amazing mom I can tell just from your blog.
    Love & Miss you! LouAnn

  2. Oh Lauren, I feel like I could have written this post myself...I too need to chilax about the milk/pumping stuff because it does quickly consume my thoughts--You are doing such a good job for Inara and as a fellow pumper I *KNOW* how hard it is, keep up the good work! You can do it! p.s. and whoever said "no use crying over spilled milk"...clearly never was a pumper :-)

  3. I pumped exclusively with Harper and I hated it. I lasted about 12 weeks, which is when I had to go back to work. I did have some remorse about it, but I was much happier and relaxed in the long run, which made me a better parent. I nursed Spike for about 4 months before switching to formula, and Gloria for only about a week, so I've had a good range of experiences. Being a nurse, I absolutely know that breast milk is best, particularly for a preemie. However, from experience I can tell you that in 3 kids I've dealt with 2 ear infections and one minor case of RSV which ironically enough was in the kid I nursed longest. I have also in that time seen babies that were exclusively breastfed be sick a lot more time than my kids. Breast milk definitely is best, but it isn't magical. There are many other factors that play into immune system, IQ,etc. I think it's excellent you have done it this long, but you have to weigh the pros and cons. If you could keep doing it, that is great, but if pumping stresses you out, it's not worth you sanity to keep doing it when there is acceptable replacement
    available. Anyway, I have lots of thoughts about this topic. Message me or call me sometime if you want to know more.

  4. Lauren.....I too pumped exclusively with Sadie till she was 4 months. I can totally sympathize with you and the crying over spilled milk....Us pumpers take pride in our goods!!! LOL I did in fact give it up and felt guilty about doing so too but in turn have realized Sadie is doing just fine on formula and her baby food now. I am less stressed out and am able to be a better mommy to her. I hated the pumping and feeding schedules because it took so much time out of my day and plus I have an almost 3 year old to entertain as well. Keep it up as long as you can but when enough is enough just know that formula has come a long way. Your a great mommy!!! :o)

  5. I went back to work when Ajax was 12 weeks old, but I pumped at work and exclusively breast fed him for about 7 months. I too just got too overwhelmed and stressed out. I completely weaned him by 8 months. I am sure the transition was more difficult for him than me. I felt so guilty and I missed being able to nurse him in the mornings and evenings. However, after I stopped breastfeeding, I realized that I had had post partum depression the whole time. Within a week of stopping, I was a completely different person. No more crazy freak outs or totally unnecessary stress. It was like a switch was turned. Ajax has thrived on formula, and I no longer feel guilty or anything like that. Not to imply that you are suffering from ppd in any way, just I think hormones during breastfeeding can probably blow things a little out of proportion... You are great! We need to let Ajax and Inara meet someday...she's on his list of mommy approved future wives (lol)

  6. i am so glad that you wrote this lauren. i'm exclusively pumping and it really is a love/hate relationship. it's really nice to know other people are doing the same thing or have done the same thing. i keep setting small goals - i'm trying for 12 weeks now and then i'll decide if i can go longer. it's really hard not to have guilty feelings when i think about giving up. the worst part is having to work not only around his feeding schedule, but my pumping schedule. i'm really proud of you for making it 6 months and i hope that i can do the same!

  7. Thanks for the support guys! Just last night I forgot to put freshly pumped milk in the fridge (3 oz of it too). But this morning when I realized, I was able to just breathe and dump it out. What a hilarious thing to be proud about huh :)


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