I have been a bad blogger lately. It's amazing how much time it takes to take care of a little one! I have to feed her, change her, and then pump every 3 hours. It seems by the time I am finished pumping it is nearly time to start the cycle all over. Hopefully she learns how to eat right, then I can cut the pumping out of my schedule. Pumping is really starting to get to me. It costs about $80/month to rent. I know my milk is SO much better for her than formula...that is why I keep going. I think I have decided that if she can't figure out how to nurse properly by the time I go back to work (February 15th), then I will evaluate how long I can/will be able to do this. For now, I just keep trying (which is exhausting).
Yesterday we got a LOT of bills in the mail. For her 12 days at GSH, we were billed nearly 70K. Praise God for insurance! But with insurance we still own about 3k. And that is just one bill. We haven't even received the bill for her St. Elizabeth stay which was a week longer. I am thankful that hospital bills don't charge interest. We have that going for us! But once again, I am reminded we have much more going for us. CHRIST! I know that he didn't bring us this far to abandon us. And even if something crazy happened and we couldn't pay the bills and lost our house, we would still never be alone. He promises to never leave us, phew! (Deuteronomy 31:6)
Inara had her 2 month checkup this week. She weights 6.5 lbs. YAY! She is such a chub lately. I think we have increase how much we give her by 1 ounce in just the past week. Here is proof of her chubbiness. I love this picture SO much, I think it is my fav!
When she was d/c from the hospital they told us we have to wake her up every 3 hours (even through the night) to feed her. Well this week I received the OK to let her sleep through the night if she wants. I am so excited. She hasn't decided to do that yet, but at least she has the option now! O, the days of 12 hours of sleep. That seems so insane right now. I mean really?! I am functioning on way less now, makes me wonder what I could have done with those extra hours had I been awake.
I know I am not getting much solid sleep, so I don't' feel bad for "sleeping" until noon. Because I only get about 2 hours of consecutive sleep in a row. However, I have been feeling convicted about how I spend my awake time. I am so tired physically that I don't wanna do anything else. Clean,laundry,cook. But even more than that I don't wanna be exhausted emotionally, so I chose to check out. I don't think about God, I just wanna lay around and watch TV (even though I am pretty sure I have seen EVERY episode of "Law and Order: SVU". It is ridiculous logic, but I guess I think avoiding God will make it better. How insane is that? Avoiding the ONE person in my life who is always there for me, and knows EXACTLY how I feel. I do strange things huh?
I was reading a friends blog and realized I was not only neglecting God, but neglecting my home also. OUCH! So with God's grace, I will be trying to be more disciplined with my days/time. I am going to try to make a daily to-do list, and a weekly one too. Hopefully it will allow me to prioritize my time better. I am going to try to do audits of my time so I can see what my big time wasters are. I was reading Proverbs today and was really struck by one verse. Proverbs 14:1 - "The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down". I need to make building our house one a strong foundation, Christ, a priority. I don't think I have started to tear down our house (yet), but I don't want to either! Once again with God's grace and wisdom, I will be able to figure out what this means for the Duke home, and how to do it best!