Friday, July 1, 2011

Work in progress

Recently a friend of mine (whose blog you should DEFINITELY read) posted about how a lot of times bloggers always post the best of stuff. Then another friend started thinking about that too. I guess it is true. People post pics of their house super clean, not the disaster that it likely is most of the time. Stories of their child's loveliness, not stories of how its hard to love a little sinner sometimes.  I started thinking about my blog and mostly my heart.  

I haven't been blogging about much I guess because there is nothing going on my heart. I have been SO busy these couple weeks and have neglected my time with the Lord. I can't make my life less crazy right now, but I can prioritize and be more disciplined with the little time that I have.  I know you are thinking, "Well duh, get off your blog and talk to God about this stuff". I did, which is why I can blog about it now.

I think my life is a mess. My house is destroyed because out bathroom is being redone. Since I spend no time at home there is no clean laundry, no groceries, no dishes being done. complete. mess. My car is a mess because I work out of it and am constantly going to my parents or friends house to shower. Now it kind of smells too. My heart is a mess. I am was numb to my sin.  Instead of asking God to help me, I ignored him. And I have been paying the price. Not that he punishes me for ignoring him. No. He is so gracious and merciful and disciplines me BECAUSE he knows ignoring Him will produce death, while crying out to Him in my distress will bring me joy and life even if when my circumstance don't change.

My house will still be a wreck. But I will be thankful that we had the cash to pay for our bathroom. We will not be going in to debt to renovate, and  I will choose to be thankful my biggest debt has been paid by Christ.  My car still looks like a natural disaster, but I'll remember we only have a car because God has provided it for us. My heart is still a mess too, but I'll continue to put my hope in him, I'll pray to be "more of You, less of me', and I'll wait anxiously for the day when I can be with Christ in Heaven.

I love how God redeems me and my wreck of a life.

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